Education in Crisis; The Parents, Part 3

I changed my mind.

I was going to write about teachers in this post but I have the cart before the horse. We first need to look at Parenting skills in our country. After all, parents are every child’s first model; they come to the parents first, and to the teachers second. Some children, or maybe most nowadays, are deposited with baby sitters, day care centers, or other care givers as they work their way to the teachers. Maybe teachers are their last stop in a country where we have traded parenting in for profit. Michael Douglas said, as his son faces 10 years for meth trafficking, “I did what my father did and put career first”. We don’t have to do what our parents did. We can learn from them and reinvent ourselves.

We are a nation of ethnic diversity. We all come from somewhere else. All our children come together into the same educational system. Teachers inherit the children we have parented. If our parenting is not done well it is the teachers who must deal with the ‘crushed spirits’ of those whose parents were deficient in their responsibilities to their children. It all begins at the beginning, BIRTH.

Definition: Disable (v) – Crushed Spirit; to withdraw hope, to deflate curiosity, to promote an inability to see beauty, to deprive imagination, to make abject. (Mullins New Thesaurus: 2009 Edition)

Parents instill values. Children are innocent when they reach us. They only know what we teach and demonstrate to them from birth through their early years. “Peek-A-Boo, I See You!” discusses signals that children send us. They are curious, imaginative, adaptive, and energetic when they arrive. We have the ability to encourage or ‘crush’ these wonderful innocent qualities they bring with them. It is inexcusable to say “I did what my father did…” What kind of an excuse is that? Did we not learn from our own experiences what we craved from our parents and what went missing? Did this not make an impression on us? Is Michael Douglas telling us he accepted his childhood and so he duplicated it for his children? Sooooo, he is sorry and apologetic as his son faces the possibility of 10 years in jail. I knew what was missing from my childhood and vowed that if I had children they would not miss it. I would give to them what was not given to me. Please do not say you are sorry, that really doesn’t fly in the face of parental actions and the havoc they wreak on children.

With the state of technology today we have more help through blogs, internet, media, and friends to raise our children in an environment rich in love and activity. When children fail they are telling you I need love and attention. I want you to see me. No one wants to fail. Children see daily the rewards of success through education. They want to succeed because they seek approval, just as you do when you do something your boss recognizes. We all seek approval and want to be successful and happy.

Parenting begins with bonding at birth, baby care, cuddling, holding, responding, and giving. This builds security and comfort within babies. Children do not need video games and television. They need parents who are involved in their curiosity and imagination and who take them into the world to explore these curiosities. They need parents who teach them how to be civilized, respectful, and compassionate. They need lessons in healthy eating, discipline, determination, family values, and the importance of achieving. They do not need parents who make excuses for their failure.

It is common sense! What is it about parenting that people do not understand? Maybe we should have courses in high school on childbirth and parental responsibilities in child rearing. The three most important investments a person makes in their life is who they marry, how many children they have, and which house they buy to raise their family. We do not teach any skills in our educational system that relate to these decisions and they are decisions that live with us for the rest of our lives.

Are teachers our baby sitters? Do we expect them to teach family values? Do we expect them to discipline our out-of-control children? Do we expect teachers to raise our children in the hours they have them? I am not making a case for teachers. I am asking parents, whose crushed children enter our educational system, what it is they expect these teachers to accomplish with these broken humans we abandoned for profit?

The educational system will improve when our parental responsibilities improve. It is then we can point a finger at teachers who do not teach. We will remove their excuses for not taking responsibility for their profession, if it is indeed a profession at this point in time. Professionals have a code of ethics. Professionals do not accept the low percentage of student proficiency, 39 percent of fourth graders in math and 33 percent in reading, with a wide gap between black and white students in reading and math.

We have to begin at the beginning. First, raise them well then turn them over to teachers to teach them well. We will then stop our children’s foreboding slide into mediocrity as other  nations bolt ahead and into the future leaving our children behind to be the worker bees.

  1. June 4, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    That is a very good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere.
    Simple but very accurate info… Appreciate your
    sharing this one. A must read article!

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